Friday, August 04, 2006
had a bad day(s)
For some dumb reason, this song makes me feel better. It makes me feel that I am not alone in my bad days. I always have a lot on my plate, and I always feel overwellmed. I can have good, even great things happen (like selling our condo) and it just does not seem to excite me. (at least the way that I feel that it should) I am irritated, and I get irritated very easily. Like I have said in previous posts I am sick of being the peacemaker and the nice one. Some days I wish I had it in me to just tell people what I am really thinking. I avoid conflict. I am needy. I am willing to compromise, but deep down I just want things to go my way for once. Why do I always have to give in to life? I have so many internal conflicts. I know that I suffer from depression and anxiety, but when will it stop? I can't take medicine, it makes me have less of a personality that I already do, and it makes me gain weight, which inturn makes (made) me more depressed. Few people now a days see me truely happy. And maybe that is why I get so irritated, because I do have to "fake a smile" I mean don't get me wrong, I do understand that everyone has a lot going on, but I just don't seem to be able to handle it as well as others. Or maybe they just hide it better. I have been trying to get to a point in this post, but I can't seem to find one. I guess I just needed to get it out of my system.
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3 comments:
After thought...
I am sick of people giving me their 2 cents, on what they think that I want or need. My needs and wants are different from yours, so back off! GGGRRR ....can you tell that I am irritated today?
ooohh mama. i was going to tell you what makes me feel better, but perhaps i should hold back...
no. i won't. because i am me and i *do* tell people what i'm thinking, because i had that same revolution at the age of 24 and realized that a) i don't care b) people who care about me enough will still care about me and c) i don't have time for bullshit.
realize though, that i am one of those that tends to "hide it well." so now, at 27 (uggh) what makes me feel better is a tight little skirt and some fancy lil' heels.
tada!
tight little skirt and fancy lil' heels...hhhmmm....that's why you're pregnant, again!
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